Monday, April 27, 2009

Polyandry or Polygamy - which is preferable?

To a five year old, that is.

Driving home from the store tonight, Hannah started in on one of her rambling thought processes. Matt's ready to invest in some type of recorder to take with us places to record these things.

H: "I've decided that I want four children. Not just three like you have, Mother, but four. Well, you really have four. Daddy and me and Ainser and Gray. That's four. But do you want more?"
S: Well, I wouldn't be opposed to more, I guess, if it happened. Why do you want me to have more?
H: "It's not that I want you to have more. Just sometimes I look at your tummy and think 'Mother's going to have another baby' and then I tell myself 'No, that's just fat, that's not a baby', but before I think that I get excited that you're going to have another baby, but it's not a baby in your uterus, it's just fat in your tummy.'
Sarah: *goggle-eyed*
Matt: *trying to stay on the road and not get a hernia from holding in the laughter*
H: "I've been thinking, though, that maybe you should get married again, Mother."
Sarah: Really?
H: "Yes. You can love two husbands. I know it. So you should get married again."
Sarah: Why on earth would I want to do that?
H: "Well, for the money, mainly. If you had two husbands, we would have more money."
Sarah: Huh.
H: "Or, and this would be even better, Mother, your other husband could go to work and Father could stay home and play with us. I've always wanted Father to stay home and play with us, so you should get married again, so he can."
Matt: So the other husband would just be for making money?
H: "Well, that and having more kids."
(now it's my turn to try not to laugh)
Matt: What if I married another woman instead of your mother marrying another man?
H: "That would be silly Father. Then you would have *way* too many kids. And I've already got a mother."
Sarah: What if I went to work and she stayed home with you?
H: "Well, that could work, but I wouldn't like it."
Sarah: Why not?
H: "It's pretty obvious, Mother. I wouldn't like her hairstyle."
Matt: Oh, that is obvious. How did we miss that?

This went on for the twenty minutes it took us to get home. And the jury's still out on whether polyandry (an extra father to go to work so that her father could stay home) or polygamy (an extra mother with a bad hairstyle) is preferable. I'll keep you updated.

Edit: I got some help on correct terminology (see the comments), so I replaced 'bigamy' with 'polyandry'. That's what I get for going from memory with those words. Thanks Big Love!


Michelle said...

Most cell phones do have a voice recorder in them, but they tend to have a time limit, so you won't be able to catch whole conversations. What a girl. She makes me giggle... :O)

Sarah said...

I want my own Hannah. She's such a thinker! Too cute. :)

KMDuff said...

Hilarious! I would have had a hard time not laughing out loud. Love it. :)

Kyre said...

Omg...I am laughing so hard over here. That girl is one of a kind.

Marcie said...

hahaha oh my goodness! SOO hilarious!!! I think I might want a couple more husbands to make me money too! Let's go out and check out the scene shall we Sarah? :)

Simpson Home said...

What a wonderful ride home. I am belly laughing and loving every word. Thank you for blogging these precious conversations.

Rinnyboo said...

Ha! This made me laugh so much. Hannah is so funny and thoughtful.

Lindsay said...

That was hilarious. I want to meet Hannah (and all of you) one day so badly. :) I linked it to Kris, and he suggested since I want to live on a homestead so badly, that maybe I could be the second wife. :p But I'd try to have a good hairstyle.

Katey said...

Oh, Sarah, that was priceless! Next summer, we are finding a way to get together! I can't take much longer of not seeing you and these amazing kids in person.

Cindy said...

'No, that's just fat, that's not a baby'

I happen to know you and I'm wondering what 'fat' she is talking about? Silly girl. Seriously, that is one hilarious conversation. The bad hairstyle.... that is just.... so obvious!

Sarah said...

Michelle, he tried that, but we're both cell phone challenged. With the conversations this girl has, you have to get most of it to even understand the context of her statements. I tried our camera's video option, but it's not long enough either.

Marcie, I can just picture us out trying to find our next husbands. "No, sorry. You're too buff. We just need you for making money. Wait. I need more kids. You'll do."

Lindsay, I showed Hannah your picture (without telling her why) and asked her what she thought of your hair. "She's so pretty" lol Should we book you a flight?

Cindy, I know, right? I have some left on my tummy from Gray and I started running a few weeks ago. Not just to lose the fat, but to feel better. My body's been feeling blah after the long winter. When Hannah asked why I was running, I explained about trying to feel better and said as an aside "and I wouldn't mind getting rid of this" (pointing to my tummy). I think that's where she got that from. But then again, maybe it's something she's been thinking about for awhile...

Big Love over Logic said...

Very cute, kids say the funniest things don't they? When on of my boys was 4 he thought I should marry my husband all over again so that we could have another He thought you had to get married everytime you wanted another child.

Just an FYI: Polyandry, is the practice of a woman having more than one husband. Polygamy is practice of a man having more than one wife. Bigamy is something you are charged's an offense, not an actual 'practice' like polygamy or polyandry. It's when you are charged with being legally married to more than one person when your not divorced and your other spouse to whom you are legally married is still living. Usually when the spouses have know knowledge of the other...

Not everyone who is living in polygamy is fundamentalist Mormon or Muslim. Most of the people are just like you... No funny hairstyles and they dress just as normal as can be. Some of us even live in golf course communities and are PTA board members.. Shocking I know! :) Those hairstyles are horrible (I agree with your daughter on that one!) As a friend of mine said, first sign of prarie dress and she would run.... I would too!

Most poly families are just famliles... No underage marriages, No forced marriages, no abuse. We are just normal people.

Donald said...

Technically, the title is still not quite right… It should be 'Polyandry or Polygyny'. Polygamy is the general term for more than one spouse. Polyandry is where a woman has more than one husband, and polygyny is where a man has more than one wife.

On the recording topic, if you're lucky enough to have an iPhone there are heaps of recording apps to choose from, with no time limit on recordings.

Hilarious post BTW. You have a real thinker there! Perhaps she should start her own blog? :)

Farmgirl_dk: said...

O.M.G!!!! I will contribute $$ to the tape recorder purchase. Just tell me where to send my donation. Too funny.
Your comments today were pretty fascinating, too! :-) :-) :-)