Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I'm an Honest Scrapper.

The Magic Onions (and one of the cutest makers of felted items you'll find on Etsy), gave me the Honest Scrap award-blogshare thingy. Usually, I'm incredibly grateful for awards but never seem to get around to recognizing or passing them on. However, The Magic Onions' list really made me smile and I thought I'd try to think of 'ten honest things'. Here goes.

1) I'm scared of riding horses. I was just fine before I had babies. I loved horses. Adored horses. Rode them any chance I got. I worked for a real rootin-tootin cowgirl at her boarding and training stable near Boise, Idaho. I worked as a wrangler in Jackson Hole, Wyoming where I had to ride stay on some really rank horses while keeping my string of twelve to twenty dudes safe. Yeah, my boss wasn't really smart and I was too young to know better. I even went and worked at a stable in Ireland where I learned to ride English style and jump horses and absolutely loved it. I was bucked off a pony (don't tell anyone) and came off of a horse at the end of a triple jump. Neither fazed me (except for the pony - that hurt my pride a tad). Then I gave birth and now riding horses makes me so nervous that even the laziest plug gets antsy enough to crow-hop if I get on its back. Many theories abound about why this fear should have set in after childbirth, but it's a goal of mine to get past it. Sometime. Later.

2) I didn't want to be a mother. I agreed to have two children because my husband wanted kids so badly, but the deal was that he was likely going to be the stay-at-home parent and I would be the breadwinner. My parents hadn't exactly passed on a lot of good parenting skills, anger management skills, or (I thought) the ability to love little ones. So I went to the hospital to give birth making jokes like "Does the hospital have a layaway plan?" Sometime between the second before my daughter actually came out and when the midwife caught her and began to pass her to me, my husband became irrevocably relegated to breadwinner and I'm not sure he's ever recovered from the shock. I fell in love and have never looked back. I immediately wanted seven kids.

3) Hannah snapped this picture of me this afternoon. (I was ducking my head because I knew she was aiming low.)

Right after she took it, a man came to fix our sprinklers and stood talking to me while I put Grayson down, picked Grayson up, waved to my girls, threw a ball to the dog... lots of things that exposed my at-the-time hairy armpit. Didn't even realize the dang things were hairy until Ainsley lifted my arm up later, rubbed them and said "Soft!" So *that's* why he kept staring at me funny. I'm not talking stubble, either. I'm talking long enough to be soft. I shaved them in a hurry, but I will never look at that picture without thinking "Dude, how did you FORGET?" And neither will you. You're welcome.

4) I love ABBA and George Strait. There you have it.

5) I have never for a moment regretted leaving the religion of my childhood when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. I have also never understood why some openly questioned my motives, some going so far as to say that I must 'desire to sin' (because a pregnant, devoted wife has so much sinning she wants to do). I am now much more authentic in how I live my life, and it feels good to finally have my spiritual self feel peace and to be able to explore different ways of expressing that spirituality that do not exclude the majority of the human race.

6) I didn't want to homeschool. My husband was not happy with the education he received in his rural schools and since we knew we wanted to live in a small, rural area, he wanted to homeschool our kids and floated the idea when we found out I was pregnant. I was completely against it because of the 'social issue'. Then I found out that the most stylish woman in our 'ward' (Mormon congregation) was a homeschooler (she said, when questioned, that she sent her kid to kindergarten knowing how to count and knowing his alphabet and three days later he insisted he didn't know either of those because none of the other kids did). I also found out that one of my husband's very intelligent co-workers and his wife homeschooled their kids for academic reasons. Then I talked with a cousin of mine that I really respect about why she homeschooled her kids. The rest is history. Now we're doing interest-led education (also called life-learning or 'unschooling'). See what happens when you dip your toe in the water? The river can sweep you away.

7) I do not, nor will I ever, understand the hysteria that surrounds the Twilight books or movies.

8) I do, however, fully understand the hysteria that surrounds Colin Firth, Johnny Depp, and Hugh Jackman.

9) I have warring desires, not in what I want to do with my life, but how I want to live it. I want to homestead, but I want to be a nomad. I want to use the milk I've milked with my own two hands to make cheese and yogurt and butter, but I want to not be tied down to dairy animals so that I can take my children camping. I want to have a centered, down-to-earth, hanging-clothes-on-the-line, homebody lifestyle, but I want to travel. I want to live in the wide open spaces of the Western US, but I also want to live in Europe. With these warring desires, I have yet to be completely comfortable where I am, even as I'm truly happy being there. Strange dichotomy, that.

10) If I have more children, I would prefer to adopt. Adoption is big business these days, however, and as such is very expensive. This saddens me in more ways than one.

I'm supposed to pass this on to seven bloggers. How about...

Sherry at Living and Learning

Farmgirl_dk at Critter Farm, though the punk's in Germany right now, so who knows if she'll get around to it.

The lovely Gina at Unschooled Family.

Madeline at Barn Raising.

The Blankie Chronicles.

my sister at Intermittant Ramblings

and my sister at Arizona Sunshine. I want to see if there are ten honest things I don't know about them.

I'm also adding Sarah at MamaCanon Blog because she makes me smile.

If you decide to do this (and I hope you do), you're supposed to link to the person who gave you the award-blogshare thingy, list your own ten honest things, and ask seven more to participate. Meme away!


Joy said...

these are great, Sarah. I feel like I know you 100% more just from reading this list. :) I identify with so many of your thoughts and feelings too, especially around altering the beliefs you were raised with and warring between home, travel, etc. Thanks for doing this Honest Scrap!

Madeline said...

I loved reading these. I feel like I know you on this second visit here and really like you. I'll get to it this week, though I bared so much last month I'm afraid to go there again.

Stephanie said...

I'm with you on the Meyers books.

I've heard they're shallow and what I call "busy", and that dude in the film makes me feel kind of ill. ???
not to be rude to him, but there you have it.

And I'm also with you on Johnny Depp.
My kind of guy. And most likely the most beautiful person to ever walk the planet, imo.

fun post!! :)

The Magic Onions said...

I LOVED reading this! So much of it resonated with me I am also at war with what I want, perhaps we all are? I am afraid of things now that I was completely fine with before I had kids. And, you made me laugh out loud a number of times. Why does armpit hair grow SO quickly?! It's such a nuisance!! Wonderful Honest Scrap! Thanks for sharing.

Sarah said...

Great post! It is nice to learn more about you!

Sarah said...

Joy, that makes me smile. I'm so glad you liked it. I noticed you'd been passed the award too ....

Madeline, you are of course not obliged to do it, but it was a lot of fun (and a bit uncomfortable, so I can understand your hesitation after your recent posts). I'm just tickled (sound like my grandpa) you came by!

Steph, I know, right? The first book showed promise in the first chapter, but it lost its glow for me soon after that. I have some sister-in-laws that I hope still speak to me after reading that. ;)

Johnny Depp is .... yeah. I think it's funny that my list of star crushes is populated completely by men who are devoted to their wives.

Onions (can I call you Onions? Maybe Magic would be better...), I'm so glad you liked it. Yours was also hilarious and thought provoking. I was dying at your story of rocking out to Twinkle, Twinkle. Thank you for passing me the blogshare.

Sarah, thanks - it was fun to do. I thought of passing it to you, but wasn't sure if A)you liked doing these things or B)if you wanted the linkage or preferred to be more private.

Cindy said...

Your post just made me laugh! I've been thinking all day about what things I'd be willing to share with the world.... yikes!

Garrison Family said...

seriously lol i love the twilight books.... i think it was mostly cause the emotions and feelings (minus the vampires and warewolves) reminds me of my first love and all that blah blah stuff... I'm not too fond of the movie -- though i watch it often... it is growing on me. And rob is looking better in that GQ layout with grey suit oh la la ....

Johnny Depp is a hotty.... Mark McGrath is yummy and GILLES from i guess sex and the city (didnt see it) but he was so darn sexy on dancing with the stars!!! i have to many men that make me drool!

green said...

I thought of you as someone I knew well however I learned an awful lot from this post. Cool!


"I want to homestead, but I want to be a nomad."

"Siddartha" by Hermann Hesse

Western readers who are not familiar with Buddhist philosophy often miss the point when reading it because the notion of a human being consisting of a myriad of fragments of different souls is in complete contradiction of Judeo-Christian theologies.

Farmgirl_dk: said...

Dang - I *loved* this post. At least until I got to the part with my name. lol.
I knew some snippets of a couple of these, but loved the additional detail about you. I snorted out loud when I read #3. It wasn't pretty. And, hey, some guys really get into underarm hair, so maybe there was another reason he was staring? I'm just sayin'.... :-)

ABBA is so fun. I'm not familiar at all with George Strait.

#9? I get it. Completely. Totally. Would love to talk more with you about that some day. :-)

I'm going to go walk the beach now and stick my foot in the Baltic on your behalf, ok? :-)

Sherry said...

Thanks, Sarah :)...

I'm holding on to this for a while. I enjoyed reading your post and learning more about you. Number 1 for my list would be

1. I'm incredibly private and tend to put up a lot of walls. Starting a blog was a big step for me. My husband is even MORE private than me, and many times he has been shocked that I would put some of the things on the blog that I have. He might have a heart attack if I did a true Honest Scrap post. ;) But I'm pondering it...

Sarah said...

Green, your comments are always gems. Thanks for the insights and the recommendation. Putting it on my list. I would be interested to see a ten things list about you too. Just sayin....

Danni, I'm there with you. Get a picture for me, will you? I can't imagine dipping my toe in the Baltic Sea - but then I couldn't imagine dipping my toe in the sea off the coast of Ireland, so who knows what the future holds.

When we were planning our now-postponed trip to Oregon, I was trying to figure out how to include your area in the trip. lol It would be so much fun to meet you and talk in person. And introduce you to George Strait.

Farmgirl_dk: said...

Dang - I totally missed the post where you mentioned that the Oregon trip had been postponed. I was wondering when you all were headed this way....

MTVath said...

Stumbled across your blog via a link to a link....
I only read 1)(not much time for much else) You know what I love that you confessed that! I Lived breathed and even at times ate (dirt not horse) horses before my three little ones came along. I slowly got back into teaching and training after my first was born, but was never the same again. Then Pow I got prego with twins~! Welp horses are not in this season of life! I for the first time ever in my life have a fear of what I once lived! So glad to know I am not the only one! Mignon - mommy to 3 in subs of Chicago