Happy Birthday to my baby.

My baby turned four last week. I tried to find one picture per year of her life, but couldn't trim it down to four pictures.

Happy Birthday, baby!



Playing in the wrap.



First time trying oranges.



Chasing my sister's cat.



Getting ready to feed bum lambs.



With her namesake, Matt's grandmother.





Second Halloween. She was a cop, I was a convict.



Solving all of the world's problems with her cousin.



Little babushka. Did I spell that right?



Reading to her puppy.



Playing with a gosling.



Gardening.



At the SLC aviary.



Fishing with Daddy.



Eating blueberries with Ainsley.



Watching me milk the goats.



At the local river.



Hitching a ride.

While looking for my Egg Drop Soup recipe...

"Mother, did your parents make Poison Soup when you were little?"

No, I don't think they did.

Interating...very interating.

"That's interating."

Hannah's frequent observation about anything and everything that she finds the least bit interesting.

A bit more about the birth.

This is cross-posted from my homesteading blog. Some commenters on there asked for some more birth detail, and I thought that some on here might be interested also.

After ten months (43 weeks) of a very healthy pregnancy, baby and body finally decided it was time. The length didn't surprise me - I cook babies a long, long time. Labor started at around 4 pm, contractions eight minutes apart. My husband called the midwife and then we went to the store to walk and get groceries, hoping to keep the contractions steady and strong.

When we got back, the midwife and her assistant were there. I wanted to stay busy, to help labor seem shorter, so I made a goat meat stew (from a new recipe, using coconut milk - it was very, very good) for after the birth, chocolate chip cookies, and rolls. The distraction worked because it was 10:30 before I realized it. My younger daughter had gone to bed and my older daughter, though she wanted to be there for the birth, was fading fast. After telling my contractions to "stop it. Stop hurting my mother.", and having it explained to her that the contractions, while uncomfortable, were a good thing, she curled up with my husband and went to sleep. Reason #413 why homebirth is wonderful.

At 10:30 my water broke and I expected to give birth within the next 30 minutes - that's how it had been with my two girls. I wish I'd known it would be different this time. An hour later I had to admit that I was nowhere near giving birth yet, so I'd better stop thinking "this one could be it" and just start acting as if the pushing was hours away and rolling with the contractions that were getting me there.

At 1:38 am on Monday morning, I felt the urge to push and at 1:40 am, he was here. There was no slowing him down once he was ready. The movement from birth to my chest was so fluid, so natural. It was an amazing feeling. My first birth, at the hospital, had me reaching for my baby before they handed her to me. My second birth, at home, had my husband holding her first. This one was different, and it was wonderful.

I'm trying to think of what is "best" about a homebirth.

Is it the calm knowledge that you won't have to submit to hospital policies like IVs, baby monitors, and labor on a bed? These things may not be common everywhere, but in my tiny, podunk hospital, they're mandatory.

Is it being able to wear what you want and know that, unlike one of my sister in laws, you don't have to change into a hospital gown with "Central Laundry" printed on the front of it?

Is it being able to labor in the comfort of familiar surroundings, wandering from room to room, relaxing in your own shower, cuddling with your children, leaning on your husband, or locking yourself away from everybody when that feels necessary?

Is it not having to refuse medication over and over, having that eat into your knowledge that you are strong and capable and able to do this thing that, from birth, your culture has told you you are not able to do?

Is it not having to ask permission to hold your baby, not having to hand the baby over for weighing and measuring before you're ready, not having to say goodbye as your baby is taken to the nursery for "standard treatments"?

Is it moving from the birthing place to your comfy recliner and nuzzling your newborn baby as you both doze and he tries nursing and figures out this new way of eating for the first time?

Is it watching your daughters' faces as they wake up and see a newborn baby that wasn't there when they went to sleep? Watch their little faces as they put it all together and realize that this is real. And not have to say goodbye when visiting hours are over.

Is it realizing a day and a half after birth that had you given birth in the hospital, you would just now be getting "permission" to leave and come home. Instead, you've been home and comfortable since the birth.

There is nothing "best" about a homebirth. A homebirth makes a birth "simply" a part of life. It doesn't break it apart from life and make it a medical event. It honors it as a natural, albeit glorious, event. I know how very lucky I am to have had low-risk pregnancies that have allowed me to have this experience, that have allowed me this way of welcoming new life into our family.

Was this too much? lol - I hope not. Back to regular, not so sappy blogging now.

I'm sorry about the length between posts. We've been busy here.

On Sunday afternoon labor started and by early Monday morning, we had another family member who felt like he'd always been here.

We have a baby boy now. He came in weighing 9 lbs and was 22 inches long. A little bit of dark hair, surprisingly few eyelashes, and a voracious appetite.

Hannah's beyond thrilled to have a newborn baby in the house. Ainsley spends most of her time around him kissing him on the head and saying "coo coo coo" about an inch from his face. Both girls love holding him.

Matt's been home for the last few days which has been wonderful. A few weeks ago Ainsley transitioned into a Daddy's Girl, so with him home, I get a lot of quality bonding time with the baby because she's clinging onto her daddy like a baby baboon.



Hannah seeing the baby for the first time, right when she woke up. She was sooo excited. I'd apologize for the way I look, but I'd just had a baby seven hours before. When Hannah woke up and saw me standing beside the bed holding him, she said "You had the newborn baby!!! And you're still pregnant!" So we had to explain to her that the belly doesn't go away as fast as the baby comes.



Ainsley seeing baby for the first time. Sorry the picture's so dark.



Hannah nuzzling the baby.



Baby with the family.

Talking in her sleep.

Matt is the only one in our family who doesn't talk in his sleep. I do wonder if Hannah and I end up having conversations with each other in the night while we're asleep. Ainsley just babbles, though 'book', 'horse', 'stuck', and 'milk' have made their way into her sleep talk.

Early this morning, while sound asleep, Hannah informed me that she was pretending to be Cinderella. Then a few minutes later I hear "My stepmother's mean. I'm just Hannah now Mommy." Then silence.

Do you knit?

I don't - not really. I'd like to, but my knitting, like my sewing, is utilitarian.

My sister sews. She could be a professional. She's meticulous and a perfectionist. She visited me for a few weeks last summer and made two window dressings, several dresses for my girls, an apron for Hannah and two aprons for me. (This was in her spare time when she wasn't painting our bunkhouse.) All of the items she sewed look professionally done. Not chain store done, but professionally done. She puts a lot of thought and care into her work.

I'd like to sew like that. Instead, I sew in spurts and try to get as much done as quickly as possible. If it can't be seen on the outside, I don't worry too much about what it looks like. I'm afraid my knitting is the same way.

I'm trying to get better. Hence, a blanket for my older daughter. You can tell it's for her by the copious amount of pink.



I'm learning a lot about knitting by doing this blanket. I've learned that I will probably hold off on doing any sweaters for myself for awhile. With my "Oops, I dropped a stitch. I'll just pick it up instead of going to the work of fixing it. Oh, that left a big hole right there." approach, I'd probably end up with holes in not so fortuitous (for me) places. I need to get more meticulous.

I'm wondering if I'll be done with this before the baby comes. I've now (since taking this picture) finished the main block of the blanket. Now I'm doing the border and then I'll need to weave in and trim the strings.

I'm done with the pink yarn now, so Hannah's appropriated some knitting needles and is trying to knit. She gets frustrated at times, since she is in no way near knitting, so she sticks a needle in the ball of yarn and throws it. Then she and Ainsley play "throw the yarn all over" for ten minutes and I end up looking like I'm sitting in the middle of a pink spider's web. Which I thoughtlessly said the other day and now "pink spider" has been added to Hannah's pretend repertoire.

Taking sick days.

Not for me - for my girls.

Both girls have been sick, Hannah with a cold and Ainsley with croup. We've been taking it easy, reading lots of books in the bedroom with the humidifier going.

We broke out yesterday and went into the craft room. I set about completely rearranging everything except for the girls craft area while they did crafts.









Then I lit a candle for Ainsley to blow out over and over and over... which led to candle play. We've done quite a bit of candle play in the past, though I don't think I've blogged about it. It's all been melted wax play, really. This time, however, I put a bucket of water on the desk and Hannah had fun testing out the flammability of different items. Ainsley blew out candles.







Ainsley finally wanted to see what the big deal was...



but she decided that throwing things in the water to see if they would float was much more interesting.



Play, at this age, takes a "stream of conciousness" path. Crafts with popsicle sticks lead to sticking said sticks in fire which leads to throwing the sticks in water which leads to noticing that the colored sticks "bleed" in water which leads to talk about dye. Fascinating.



Ainsley left crafting to help me organize. This box was chock full of yarn when she started. I couldn't believe she stuck with me until it was done.



But to the helper go the spoils - a big box to play in.



And then the helper's big sister sees the fun and takes over.





Ainsley finally left the box since it was only big enough for one and began to play with some animal tri-omino cards. I thought she was just looking at the animal pictures, but a few seconds after I took the following picture, she'd turned the cards so that the sheep and pigs matched. Then she pushed those two cards to the side, got some more and played around like that for almost thirty minutes.



When Ainsley went down for a nap, Hannah and I went back to organizing the craft room. Hannah thought that my old shelf needed some nails in it. To hang necklaces, I think.

Unschooling blog.

There's nothing spectacular about this blog, nothing that shouts out at you. Just a loving, proud mom of one unschooled girl. The way she writes about her family and her life make me calm, happy. When I'm having a bad day I go to this blog. This woman obviously loves her life and lives it fully. It's worth checking out.

Circle the World In Big

Good unschooling quote.

As an unschooler you get the usual homeschooling doubts (socializing, of course), but unschoolers have their own unique set of "I could never because..." statements made by relatives, friends and strangers.

One of the most common is "Kids won't learn if you don't make them." A ridiculous statement, but not surprising when you look at our schooling culture and where a person making that statement is coming from. But when you step back and think about it, about how very much a child learns in the five years before schooling begins, about how voracious they are in their appetite for learning, it really does make the statement appear as ridiculous as it is. Something happens in that transition from non-schooling to schooling, something causes those children to think of learning as hard, as unappealing, as something they must be made to do.

On that note, here's the quote, pulled from Our Report Card.

“So many people have said to me, ‘If we didn’t make children do things, they wouldn’t do anything.’ Even worse, they say, ‘If I weren’t made to do things, I wouldn’t do anything.’ It is the creed of a slave. When people say that terrible thing about themselves, I say, ‘You may believe that, but I don’t believe it. You didn’t feel that way about yourself when you were little. Who taught you to feel that way?’ To a large degree, it was school.” ~John Holt

Life plugs along.

I love not having carpet in my kitchen.







Some moms do crafts, some moms do games, some moms do gardening. Apparently I do baking. I asked Hannah to get me two cups of flour and handed her the measuring cup. She said "Mom, I need a knife." And she measured flat cups of flour. Maybe we spend too much time in the kitchen.



We got a stool like the one my sister has so that my girls can see what I'm doing and help out easier. And I don't have to lift them. Both girls push the stool around with ease to where they need it. This was taken when I was making zucchini bread the other day. Ains pushed the stool over, got a book, climbed up and asked me to read to her while I baked. Hannah climbed up and helped her read - it was sweet.

*BTW, does anybody have a good zucchini bread recipe? I've tried *six* and have yet to find a great one. They're all passable or worse.



After bath picture. Ainsley arranged those so meticulously. I don't think I'd notice the small peculiarities of my children if they weren't so very different.



No, this isn't Hannah. This is my Ainsley. My little Ainsley. She only left it in for about twenty minutes, but it really aged her, having her hair pulled back.



Ainsley ignores the phone most of the time. Somehow, though, she knows when I'm on the phone with Matt and she demands to talk to him. This morning he had her giggling and signing for about seven minutes before she said "baaay", waved goodbye to the phone and handed it to me.

An unschooling article.

Worth a read.

Still waiting for baby.

Doing things that I thought I wouldn't have time for before baby. Like setting up my seed-starting stand. Which is a jungle gym until I start my first seeds next week.

Hannah used all of the pieces to make many unique designs for a few days before I set it up. I kept going in to set it up and as soon as I got started, she'd get inspiration and have to make a new design.



Finally we got it put together.



And it was a glorious house.





Until Ainsley realized she could climb over it.







Other activities for the last few days:

Reading - lots of reading.



Coloring.





Puzzles.



Dancing and playing a knitting needle violin.



Playing on the My Little Pony website.



Counting pennies.



And I was able to take all of my loose recipes from this -



to this -



The three black binders are recipes I've pulled from various places to try. When I make my monthly menu plan, I pull the recipes out from either those binders or my yellow "tried and true" recipe binder and put them in the clear folder to use that month. If the new recipes pass muster, they get transferred to the yellow binder. If they don't they get trashed. Much nicer having them in the black binders now instead of just messy piles.